What's Justice Got to do With it?

Many times I have heard the expression "I'm going to fight fire with fire", the implication obviously being that one can be as mean or ruthless as those that oppose them.  I've found that this is one of those sayings that sounds a lot better as a concept than it turns out upon execution. If the goal is to end a friendship than this is a fine motto however if their is any hope of reconciliation the fire with fire aproach is not likely to bring the hope into reality. Fighting fire with fire will only create a bigger fire. Fighting fire with water, on the other hand, can actually put out the fire.

Fighting fire with water requires a lot more of us but I think the results will be worth it. It may mean accepting responsibility for your part in an argument without expecting the same from the other party. Accepting responsibility also means a taking steps to repair the damage caused by your actions or words, again, without expecting the same from the other party. It can be painful to take this step without the assurance of reciprocation but if you did have any part to play in the original issue that it is the right thing to do. I've had a couple friends explain to me that even if the other person is 90% wrong you still need to own up to your 10% of wrongness, that 10% is 100% your responsibility to make right. Sometimes your anger/frustration will be vindicated if you are willing to take the first step, a lot of people are just waiting for someone else to make the first move... it doesn't hurt the pride as badly to reciprocate an apology.

Even if the other person doesn't see their faults you know that you did what was right. It's also important to remember that it is better to be in right relationship than to be right. God created us for community so our relationships with others should be valued above our pride and arrogance. Romans 12:18 says "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." and Romans 14:19 says "Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification."