What's Justice Got to do With it?

Many times I have heard the expression "I'm going to fight fire with fire", the implication obviously being that one can be as mean or ruthless as those that oppose them.  I've found that this is one of those sayings that sounds a lot better as a concept than it turns out upon execution. If the goal is to end a friendship than this is a fine motto however if their is any hope of reconciliation the fire with fire aproach is not likely to bring the hope into reality. Fighting fire with fire will only create a bigger fire. Fighting fire with water, on the other hand, can actually put out the fire.

Fighting fire with water requires a lot more of us but I think the results will be worth it. It may mean accepting responsibility for your part in an argument without expecting the same from the other party. Accepting responsibility also means a taking steps to repair the damage caused by your actions or words, again, without expecting the same from the other party. It can be painful to take this step without the assurance of reciprocation but if you did have any part to play in the original issue that it is the right thing to do. I've had a couple friends explain to me that even if the other person is 90% wrong you still need to own up to your 10% of wrongness, that 10% is 100% your responsibility to make right. Sometimes your anger/frustration will be vindicated if you are willing to take the first step, a lot of people are just waiting for someone else to make the first move... it doesn't hurt the pride as badly to reciprocate an apology.

Even if the other person doesn't see their faults you know that you did what was right. It's also important to remember that it is better to be in right relationship than to be right. God created us for community so our relationships with others should be valued above our pride and arrogance. Romans 12:18 says "If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone." and Romans 14:19 says "Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification."

In recent years I have spent a lot of hours volunteering at a local youth corrections center.  In spending time with the kids at the facility I was able to see them as more than criminals.  They were just like everyone else, good people who were going through a rough time.  I've never known why any of them were locked up but I'd assumed that most of them were their for petty theft or vandelism... the shenanigans that a lot of kids get into.  It hadn't really occured to me that some of them could be doing time for things as severe and violent as rape or murder.

Everything changed earlier this year when a young relative of mine was arrested and charged with the murder of his parents, who are of course, also my family.  He had always seemed like a good kid.  He was pretty obedient to his parents, other than the usual back talk and testing of limits that is to be expected of an adolescent.  He was very involved in his local church, he loved volunteering for things whether it was extra chores around the house to help his parents or at his church and in his community to help out his neighbors.  He had never shown signs of violence or aggresion.  The crime he's been accused of doesn't fit with the character or personality that he's shown throughout his life.

Now I am left with a lot of questions without any answers.  How do I show love to someone who took away my own family members?  But then again, how do I stop loving a family member who I at one time felt very close too.  Will I be able to visit him, to come face to face with a killer and if I do what am I supposed to say to him?  Was the kind, gentle, loving person I thought I knew all an act or did something happen recently that caused him to somehow snap?

Jesus calls us to love our enemies and I know God still loves him regardless of the heinous act he commited.  As an abstract concept I fully agree that everyone deserves to feel loved and we should do our best to treat everyone with love and respect.  This, however, is not an abstract concept.  It has become very personal and I'm very torn between love and hate and I know it is going to take me a long time to sort through my feelings and I will probably have to work at it for the rest of my life.  I want my young relative to be treated well and I want someone to show him the love of Christ, I'm sure at some point I'll be a part of the group of people to love and support him but I really don't know how or when.